sorry one more thing. I said in my last post two minutes ago I would rape you if you called me FF or FuckFace but I was just kidding rape is always wrong, I wouldnt do that under any circumstances, even if you were dressed like a whore. instead I will waterboard you bc we know that's really shitty but also legal so thats what I will do (just making that clear in case my parole office is reading this).

Geronimo

Oh one other quick thing. I thought in prison a nickname might help to make me tough and the one I thought of was FuckFace. You know like "if you fuck with me I will fuck your face up." I tried to call myself FF (actually I tried it on this blog for a little while but nobody had any idea what I was doing; you shitblasters dont pay any fucking attention) but anyway in prison the nickname FF went over like a lead balloon because people started making fun of me, even the priest who was supposed to be hearing our confessions. So don't call me FF or FuckFace or I will rape you if I can.

THanks

Geronimo

I'm back, mothafuckas

sup, I'm back, out the Pen early cos of good behavior. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, you know, so I'm stronger. Literally too bc I lifted a fucking ton of weights there.

My cousin Prof Reg dishonored himself by not posting like he told me he would, but you can never trust a man with an education. Thats why next election Im voting for Palin, she doesn't know shit and thats what we need right now. Plus the first woman president!

Prison wasn't so bad, nothing like the movies, most guys try to do as little as possible and not riot or rape you or whatever. Some stuff in there is kind of offensive tho bc alotta guys use "gay" as an insult not a description of happiness. I cant fault them right off the bat bc I used to be that way also but I did some reading in prison and now I know thats not right, Ive changed, but when I told fellow prisoners about being not bigoted usually they hit me with their fists or sometimes whatever they were carrying. Also the guards for the same reason.

Anyway good to be back! If anybody really missed me, great, if you are a lady please email me bc you know how it goes.

Geronimo

Prof Reg takes over

Greetings and salutations --

Reginald Alvaro Whipsneed here; yes, amateur jokesters, my initials spell "RAW," but Reg (pronounced "Rej") is what I prefer. I'm a professor who teaches at Padawan University.

I recently accepted the invitation of my cousin, Geronimo K. Swanson (never told you about the K, did he?), to take over this blog while he pays his debt to society. To be candid, I find it mystifying that anyone reads the musings of my cousin, who is as dumb as the tip of a horse's dick and equally single-minded.

Geronimo's right, I do nip all day (and am now), because I have tenure and the creative juices, of course, flow vigorously when I'm inebriated. But you know what? Jesus drank.

Quick thought: I read recently that some tools in Texas wanted to secede. Fine. But one turd was shouting "secede" and waving an American flag. It's one or the other, champ.

Reg

so unfortunately I will have to stop blogging for a while because I am in prison. 18 months.

my cousin will be taking over. he's a professor and he's allowed to drink all the time and no one can tell. His name is REg

slumdog millionaire

I saw slumdog millionaire recently and holy cow I had no idea there are so many indians in New York City!

Geronimo

off my game

I have been off my game for a long time now. people have asked me "why dont you blog anymore" and I said "who's askin?" real tough like and they give their names and I then I get quiet. it's like, in the old days I would have been real quick to respond with a loud fart or something but now I just got nothing.

I thought I went on a good date recently, the girl and I were connecting, she spoke english, it was great, but then I asked her "on a scale of 1 to 10 how sad would you be if we were going steady and then I cheated on you with a man who wasn't your father"? I don't know what I was thinking, her father was dead and I KNEW that.

Geronimo

Muslim for President!

ok Im back. I spent a few months in mexico, only part of it in jail. glad to be back in the good old usa!

I am so excited that we have a muslim running for president. religious diversity is good. not only that, but its so awesome that so many americans are willing to forgive McCain for turning Muslim when he was tortured by the terrorists in the prison camp. I'd turn muslim also to prevent the terrorists from kicking me in the balls like apparently they were doing with mccain.

plus, since mccain is a muslim, maybe the terrorists won't attack us.

Geronimo

My dong has ESP

So I was getting a haircut today and all of sudden I got some fat wood for no reason at all. Then the barber turned by chair a little and I saw that a really hot chick had just walked in and was sitting in the front of the barber shop. Somehow my crank sensed her. Has anyone else ever had this happen to them?

I looked up "pud ESP research" and "schlong psychic powers tests" but just some really weird porn came up. This is something scientists should really be looking into. Women scientists, especially.

Geronimo

My plans to buy a sports team and be a matador failed, so I'm back telemarketing. Its really boring and I have to entertain myself, so I've been calling some of the people on my list COLLECT and saying my name is Hugh Jass (you know you have to tell the operator your name so she can tell the person you're calling). Some dooshatrons accept and then I say "Haha fucko YOU'RE THE HUGH JASS, NOT ME." Sometimes I say "numbnuts" instead of "fucko." I drink at work.

Geronimo