have to break up with ariel

I am sad because I have to break up with ariel. she hasnt returned my calls for a couple of days so I went over to her apartment to look in the window. here's what I saw: she had Tivoed The View and was sitting in her big chair watching it AND PICKING HER NOSE. She was also wearing blackface.

Geronimo

Gandalf v. santa claus

we would never see this because they are both good, but it would be an interesting fight. Gandalf would win assuming Santa is not immune to magic. but I think he may be immune (you never see or hear anyone cast any spells on santa), in which case it is a toss up.

Geronimo

Hilary's fifty pound head

I saw Meet the Press this morning and they were talking about who should run for president.
I still think I will support Hilary, the weight issue notwithstanding. although she may be a little overweight for her age, I don't think it is fat that mostly makes her overweight, I think it is her pumpkinish head (plus some fat in her can, but Im ok with that).

as you can see, she looks like she has maybe a fifty pound head. but this is good for two reason: (1) someone who is overweight because of a big head is prolly not at risk of dying early like other heavy people and (2) people with bigger heads are prolly smarter, and I think we need a smart pres now, given the terrorists.

btw, I am overweight because of my titanic wang. haha just kidding!!!!

Geronimo

need to stop being a lardbutt

so I resolved to work out a few weeks ago but I havent. I really need to start. right now I look like a nutty turd that is peach colored and six feet high. I dont smell, though.

Geronimo

christmas makes economic sense

so it turns out I wont need to get a christmas gift for ariel. she's jewish and doesnt celebrate christmas.

I dont get that at all. it is jesus's birthday. maybe he wasn't god but not celebrating his birthday makes no economic sense, you know. for j-christ's birthday, YOU GET THE PRESENTS, you dont have to give shit to him. so its like ariel doesnt even want to RECEIVE presents on his account. I dont believe in jesus neither, but I'll take the presents. From ariel I'd like head. I'm not sure what I want from my mom.

Geronimo

Christmas for Cohen

I am back from new york and have lots to blog about. but first I want to starting thinking about a christmas present for my girlfriend ariel cohen. she has pretty big ass, and I'd like to a buy a gift that takes that into account, to show I notice details. girls like that. post ideas if you have them. I'd like to spend fifteen dollars.

Geronimo