CVS lets me down

CVS responded to my email about pills that get animals to talk. Unfortunately according to "Natalie Vachon", who is almost certainly a robot, CVS has no such pills. Thats a shame because they would be good sellers. Here is my original email and their response:

My email:

Dear CVS,

Do you sell pills that make animals talk?

I think my landlord is stealing from me and if my cat could talk that would prove it.

Thanks,

G. Swanson

CVS response:

Dear Mr. Swanson:

Thank you for your email regarding that particular product. Unfortunately, CVS/pharmacy does not sell or manufacture that item.

As always, thank you for your patronage of CVS/pharmacy

Sincerely,

Natalie Vachon
Customer Relations Representative NV03253614

I dont like that CVS accused me of patronizing them, I was serious. Stupid CVS and their worthless non-animal-talking pills. You can get aspirin anywhere, it's animal talkers we need.

Anyways now I need another way to catch my landlord stealing. She had a second stroke yesterday so it might be easier, but I have ruled out some ideas because now it would not be fair to punch her in the head.

Geronimo