letter to nasa about job

I DID IT!!!!! I actually applied for a job at nasa!

can you imagine how awesome it would be for me to be in space. there's also no way I'd have to go to pluto now that it's not a planet. Pluto was definitely the planet I wanted to go to the least, so that's a relief. here's my letter, tell me if you think I have a chance:

Dear Nasa,

First, keep up the "stellar" work! But seriously, you are humanity's greatest hope (landing on the moon, tang, etc.) and I want to help, so please send me an application for astronaut. I would like to apply for the job.

I have some questions, though. I do not have any experience flying any sort of spaceship, only driving cars and one time a kind-of futuristic-looking sled. Do you have any openings for astronauts who don't know how to fly? Wasn't Einstein an astronaut before he discovered light? I'm pretty sure he wasn't a pilot.

You should know that I am also thinking about changing religions, to Muslim. Can Muslims be astronauts too? If not, let me know. I assume Catholics cannot be astronauts, but that does not affect me because I stopped being Catholic a while ago (right now I am an animist). My opinion is that outer space is for all religions, but I will not tell you how to run your business. I will consider converting to whatever religion necessary to be a spaceman.

What kinds of weapons do astronauts carry? I will need some training there, because I have always defended myself using only kung-fu (self taught). Also, what is the pay?

In closing, I'm a HUGE fan and really hope I get to work at Nasa.

Thank you,

G. Swanson

Tell me what you all think!!!!